


Kohl

by Anonymous



Category: GTOP (Band)
Genre: Happy ending hopefully, M/M, Memories, Pining, Remember, Sad, What Ifs, each chapter feels like a fullstop and not a comma, fantasies, hopefully, i love them, i miss them, idk - Freeform, soft, soon, this doesnt even count as a drabble
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-12
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:48:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25217272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: Basically self-insertion.
Relationships: Choi Seunghyun | T.O.P./Kwon Jiyong | G-Dragon
Kudos: 11
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Basically self-insertion.

Jiyong had forgotten how long it had been since he talked to someone else. With everything restricted, and the network constantly acting up, he had nothing except pre-read books and his own thoughts for company. On that particular day, he ended up thinking of Seunghyun's birthday a few years ago. Somehow, they had all ended up at Soohyuk’s flat, and when Taeyang had brought out the cake (an ice-cream cake, to no one's surprise) despite Seunghyun's original declinations for a proper celebration, Seungri stuck a lit cigarette instead of the traditional candle in the centre. Everyone except for Jiyong had been amused, even Daesung was laughing at it, and although he hated the fact that Tabi's proclivity for smoking had grown even more, he could let it pass just that once because of the smile that followed after his lips had parted away from it, smoke curling gently out of his mouth.

The one good thing about the rest letting loose, was that none of them were sober enough to realize exactly how much time Jiyong had spent looking at his hyung that night. The birthday ~~boy~~ man had let someone apply kohl and wine-coloured lipstick on his upper lip, or perhaps done it himself, judging by the slightly shaky lines. It would have looked ridiculous to have just one half of that delectable mouth tinted, but somehow it looked good on him that day. Jiyong remembered stifling a groan at the sight of him coming out of the room following the giggling pair of Bom and Chaerin. With his face looking like _that_ and hair looking like they were begging to be tugged at, he had made it worse with his choice of outfit. On that day, somehow he had ended up wearing a sheer black button up (which was committing crimes against Jiyong's heartbeat) and a pair of emerald green trousers (God, why?). When he had looked down at Jiyong, it had been hard to not reach up to pull him close and lick, suck and bite at his lower lip till it matched the upper.

Seunghyun had reached up to pull at his collar to hide his embarrassment. “I look ridiculous, don’t I?” Jiyong remembered simply having shook his head in response. But the entire night he had not been able to take his eyes off of him.

Back in the present, he sat at the bench in the kitchen, with a slightly misshapen cake in front of him. “Happy birthday to me.” he whispered to the empty room, even though the ghosts of company danced around him, having bled through the memory.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I could not decide whose point of view this was from. Perhaps let me know who it was in your head?

They were going to meet.

They were finally going to meet and he was finding it hard to not let his imagination fly away from him.

In his head, he traced the lines of the other’s face and wondered if he would be allowed to do the same with his fingers. If he would be allowed to hold him in a hug for hours, and then, when either moved to reclaim their arms, to bend, or reach up, to catch the lips of the other with his own mouth.

Nothing too crazy, no battles. Soft touches only, no tongue. Or maybe just a little. Just enough to lick and taste those lips so abused by the teeth that hid behind them.

And perhaps be allowed to reach his arms around, once again, to roam over the back he had so often watched walking away. Maybe he would even get to move up, to have those beautiful hair between his fingers, as they tumbled and curled slightly at the ends.

He sat, and lay down, and walked, and danced, all with the thought in his head of the upcoming meeting. It was plagued with fear as well, though. Because what if, what if the plan got cancelled, or the world reset all over again, just like the beginning of March, and they did not get to meet. What if.

He wasn’t sure if his heart could survive that. Nine months of missing the other had torn something within him, and sure messages worked, to an extent. Nothing could replace the physical presence, the little sighs that seemed to be lightening the earth with their barely-audible releases, the clicks of his tongue when bored, the thoughtless grasp of hands when excited. Ah. It would be too cruel, to give them hope and then snatch it away. Too cruel, even for the year that was soon going to end.

Wandering in his mind, in his house, he let himself get lost in the memories of the other, even though he could barely bring himself to say the name out loud, or even think it. It was always the nickname, based off of a random quiz online, that drummed at the walls of his skull in every waking hour, sometimes going so far as to invade his dreams as well.

Eleven days. Eleven days left for them to meet, and he was yet to find his way out of the fantasy he found himself caught up in. Of unhurried, almost lazy reaches in the low light. Of fingers slowly finding the spaces in between, to fit better. Of heads shifting, at a barely comprehensible rate, closer and closer, and that first fateful brush of their lips, so long overdue.

A gust of chilled air ripped him unceremoniously away from both the memories and the fantasies, and he shut the window tighter, drawing the curtain over it for more insulation, pulled his sweater closer, and closed his eyes to let the other’s face wash over his thoughts all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Needed to get this one out


	3. Almost

The airport felt unnatural, too still, especially in comparison to the last time he had been travelling. Barely any people around, the staff at a minimum too. It was quiet enough to hear footsteps echo over the muffled whirring of coffee machines and the planes outside.

He sat in one of the chairs, bouncing his ankles on the floor, alternating at a beat of one per second. _Soon. Soon. Soon._

A laugh bubbled from within him, and he let it leave him as a slightly louder breath, not wanting to disrupt the haze that seemed to have permeated the building.

­ _One, two, three. One, two, three._

He rubbed his palms, wiping them against his jeans when he noticed the sweat, and felt another laugh coming up. He chose to duck his head and grin instead, as wide as he could. He was happy, and excited, why should a silent airport keep him from feeling?

His phone buzzed, and almost fell to the ground as he fumbled to check it.

_‘Look up.’_

Something in his chest clenched with unadulterated warmth and he squeezed his eyes shut before raising his head and leaning back in the chair, setting his expression to the barest of smiles, and watched _him­_ cross the hall.

The unbuttoned long coat shifted around him with every step, feet stumbling as the wheels of the luggage got caught in something. He picked it up by the handle with a shake of his head and poked his tongue out before breaking into a grin as he reached.

‘Hey.’ The bag was put down.

Keeping his phone aside, he stood up. ‘Hello, stranger.’

_Finally._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry these are so short. I wish they were longer, but I want the impressions to stay for longer


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A face so missed

They were meant to board another plane to another city, but that still had a few hours to go and in the time that they had to spend waiting for the boarding to start, if Jiyong stole multiple glances at Seunghyun or brought up topics for the other to talk about at length, no one complained. 

They were supposed to wait for around four hours, but between swapping stories, sharing a pizza and figuratively sitting on his hands to keep from reaching out to hug the elder, Jiyong found himself being surprised when the last call for their flight was announced over the speakers. Thankfully they had been sitting near the gate and did not need to rush (much). 

Masks and face-shields on, they settled in their seats, Jiyong struggling a little with his coat and bags before finally putting the seatbelts on. He’d chosen the one near the window, with Seunghyun sitting in the aisle and every once in a while, Jiyong would smile at the reminder of his extensive planning that ensured that no one would sit between them. The older man looked tired – understandable, he had had to travel over two hours to get to the airport, and hadn’t had enough sleep for the past week. Not like Jiyong wasn’t similarly tired, he had spent the night at the airport after all. But oh well, it wasn’t like he was complaining about the opportunity to look at Seunghyun as he snoozed. 

With the sun rising outside, the strong rays hit the sleeping man’s face, his frown prompting Jiyong to quickly lower the window shades enough to extract a quiet sigh of relief from the other. 

Their flight was two hours long, and even though his headphones were on the moment the other fell asleep, his mind was far away from the songs that played. All he could think of was how easy it would be to hold his hyung’s hand, with him finally being just a seat away instead of all those unrelenting miles, and yet it felt as if the distance was farther than it ever had been, and he settled for pinching himself to allow his heart to believe that the other was actually there, and that their crazy, impulsive, absolutely ridiculous plan had actually worked. And something in his chest expanded and constricted and grew warm and cold all at once, while he held back from letting his fingers reach over to hold onto the other for the tangible reminder of successful persuasion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is basically me telling my story by using their names.   
> Sadge.


End file.
